How to go from Disempowered to Divine in your Feminine Energy!
I talk a lot about the divine feminine around here, but not so much about her bratty counterpart: the wounded, or disempowered, feminine.
It’s interesting—the disempowered side of the feminine is what we’re shown a lot of in movies and on tv. She’s the one who is dramatic, manipulative, over-sexualized, secretive, or desperately yearning for love. The more we watch this version play out, the more we start to operate as her, whether we’re aware of it or not. But with some simple awareness and maturity, we have the power to heal her and choose to shift out of her on a moment’s notice.
So what exactly is the disempowered feminine? It’s when we are operating from our inner feminine energy, but not coming from an empowered place of love, understanding, healthy expression, embodiment, or wisdom. This side of us usually comes out to play when our needs aren’t being met and we’re feeling insecure, ignored, bored, annoyed, rebellious, or some combination of all of these. It’s typically our inner child, or some version of us in our youth, teenage years, or early twenties, who get her feelings hurt, didn’t get what she wanted, felt humiliated, felt unloved or unworthy, and found out that if she goes into her wounded energy, she can somehow get what she wants.
I often think of a little girl who wanted to be seen, heard, and loved by her father or brother, but for some reason she didn’t get it. So she whined and threw a fit until he paid attention. And she learned that in order to get a reaction out of him, she needed to act that way, so she carries this into adult life.
I also think of a little girl who has feelings, but doesn’t know how to express them because she never saw healthy expression of emotion, or was met with emotionally unavailable parents, so instead of learning to ask for support when she feels sad or angry, she whines, throws a fit, blows up, or completely withdraws, and is then met with people who feel they need to walk on eggshells around her, or who tell her that she’s the worst when she’s in one of her moods.
You might resonate with one of these situations in some way, or you may be recalling your own version, but essentially what happens is she turns dramatic, manipulative, or damsel-in-distress in order to get what she wants or needs in certain situations. The feminine carries a VERY POWERFUL energy whether she’s expressing as disempowered or divine, so a lot of times people are afraid to confront her or talk to her about it when she’s experiencing wounded tendencies, out of fear of her reaction.
The disempowered feminine doesn’t always show up this obviously, though. She also can show up in a more sneaky way, through rebellious and procrastinating behavior. I see this a lot in women in the workplace who aren’t feeling fulfilled, in their power, or balanced in their masculine energy. They despise being told what to do, or they simply *cannot* when it comes to sticking to schedules and timelines and processes, because it interferes too much with their desire for creativity and flow.
Here are some of the common characteristics of the wounded feminine:
Causing or feeding into drama & gossip
Manipulating others / being overly secretive
Procrastinating
Unable to or deeply despising having to stick to a schedule, routine, timeline or process
Guilt tripping others, shaming others for their behavior or beliefs
Afraid to speak up
Compromising values and standards in order to receive love or attention
Inauthentic, going outside of her integrity or what she’s embodied in
Victimhood / damsel-in-distress / wanting to be rescued
Low self-worth
Looking for external validation (especially through superficial beauty & aesthetic)
Sacrificing herself to take care of others
Over-emotional / drowning in emotions / completely ruled by emotions and moods
Spinning and not able to make decisions or move forward
Feeling guilt & shame
Flimsy boundaries
Feeling competitive with or jealous of other women
If you resonate or recognize any of these behaviors in yourself—don’t sweat it. There’s no shame. Even the most balanced and integrated divine feminine woman can still slip into these human tendencies. This work is all about awareness, and learning to listen to ourselves more deeply. When we notice these tendencies, we can help ourselves shift out of them, and help break the patterns within ourselves so we can experience more elevated love and relationships!
Here are some of my top tips for creating this kind of a shift!
5 Ways to go from Disempowered to Divine in your Feminine Energy:
Get to know yourself, your needs & desires: spend time with yourself, dive into self-development to get to know yourself better, get an astrology chart reading, journal on your values, write out your dream vision or make a vision board
Learn how to meet your own needs: figure out what you want, and then do it for yourself, whether it’s making yourself a meal that you love, ordering yourself food that you love, taking yourself on a date, booking a solo trip, going and doing an activity that brings you joy, touching yourself, or providing your a sensual self-pleasure night
Get out of your head and into your body: bring your awareness to your heart space and keep mentally focusing here, imagine breathing into and out of this space, do the same with focus on your womb, then do a body scan and start to sense any and all sensations here and throughout the rest of your body
Learn to see things from the higher perspective: when you find yourself spinning, unable to decide what to do next, or caught up in some drama or a mucky situation of some sort, imagine rising up out of your body, and flying up to the height that an eagle would soar, then imagine looking down on the situation from a higher perspective, and see all sides of the scenario, and see the possible outcomes. Ask to be shown the outcome or solution that is for everyone’s highest good. Watch that outcome play out. Float back down into your body and then proceed to help that outcome play out by doing/saying/being whatever is necessary, and remember that it’s for everyone’s highest good including yours.
Channel your energy into a creative project or a hobby that is mentally and emotionally stimulating: utilize your energy and brainpower for good, by focusing on something that brings you joy and more energy. Exercise, yoga, art projects, puzzles, brain puzzles, learning something new, reading a book, getting outside to take a walk, are all simple ideas.
I support women to step into their divine feminine energy in my 3-month private mentorship program! We go deeper into all these tips I’ve mentioned above, with lots of personalized support, and of course lots of celebrating you as you make shifts, changes, and realizations throughout your journey. It makes a huge difference to have someone who is guiding you and supporting you, who you can reach out to and safely share your wins and your questions while you’re traversing this journey. If you’re curious about working together, my calendar is currently open and you can schedule a call with me here.