Becoming Orgasmic: The 9-Step Pathway
I believe that orgasms are crucial to a woman’s holistic health. I believe that becoming orgasmic is even more important, and that a woman will not ever reach her full potential in this lifetime until she is orgasmic—in and out of the bedroom.
A lot of women these days are not experiencing orgasms. Some have never had one (no shame here—I didn’t until my very late twenties!). Most have not experienced the deeper, ecstatic, longer lasting ones.
If more women were having deeper orgasms, more often, there would be much more love in this world. There would be much less sadness, less jealousy, less fear, less scarcity mindset, less anxiety and depression, less disease, less body hatred.
There would be more self-love, deeper, stronger, closer relationships and marriages, and a more wholesome dating scene. There would be less guilt and shame. People would be wealthier in all kinds of ways. Skin would glow. Women wouldn’t have such trouble with their menstrual periods…the list goes on.
Why? Because when a woman is experiencing orgasmic bliss regularly, she is being real, raw and honest with herself. She’s connected. She’s embodied. She’s transforming herself over and over again. She’s re-birthing herself, and she’s nurturing herself in the most profound way.
FYI, there’s no bandaid or quick fix shortcut to becoming orgasmic. This is the real deal. This is where the power is. And the joy of the journey is what it’s all about, not simply the end point.
What does it mean to be orgasmic?
It’s one thing to have an orgasm, it’s another to actually BE orgasmic. An orgasm is a moment in time, being orgasmic is a way of experiencing life.
Consider this concept from an energetic perspective. When we become turned on, there is an unmistakable feeling in the body. There is an energy that always lives within us, that becomes more awake, more alive, and more active when we are turned on. This is sexual energy, or creative, life force energy. Sexual energy is what gets conjured up in a sexual experience, and it’s the energy that’s needed to create life. We can utilize this energy to create ANYTHING we want, not just babies, and we can tap into this energy any time we want, not just in the bedroom.
During a sexual experience, the idea is that this sexual energy gets conjured up, and starts to circulate around. For most people, the focus of a sexual experience stays within the genital area. When we start to raise our consciousness and open to sex as a sacred spiritual experience, that energy starts to circulate around more than just the pelvic space, and we experience full body pleasure.
The more we’re able to breathe deeply, be somatically present in the body, feel physical sensations of pleasure, let go, trust, and move through the emotions that arise during this experience, the more this sexual energy transforms into orgasmic energy. This, while simultaneously receiving stimulation of specific energy points, creates an orgasm.
I like to think of an orgasm as being flooded with bliss energy, where everything unlocks, and we enter the orgasmic vibration of ecstasy. This feeling, this ability to be in the orgasmic vibration, can be tapped into ANY time. We can infuse this vibration into anything we do. We can allow ourselves to feel the positive physiological, emotional and spiritual effects, outside the bedroom as well as in it.
How do we become orgasmic?
First things first, forget everything you think you know about orgasms! Seriously, chuck it in the fuck-it bucket. The way we were shown women having orgasms in movies and on TV is NOT accurate. It’s the male version. It’s always shown as ONE SINGULAR climactic moment of a huge spark/spike/scream, and then boom, she’s done.
The female orgasm is actually more like long, rolling hills of pleasure. It comes in waves. Ever seen a sine wave graph? Yeah, it’s more like that. And it can go on for quite some time: minutes, hours, even days!
I strongly believe that becoming orgasmic is possible for every woman. I also believe that every woman can experience orgasms--yes, even the deeper ones! But all this is only if you truly want it.
So decide if you want it, and then open to becoming it.
By you simply deciding that you’re becoming an orgasmic woman, you’re already on your way there. And when it comes to being orgasmic, there’s really no “there” to get to anyway. It’s all about the journey: the way you experience life itself—in and out of the bedroom.
The following tips are intended to help you create the foundations for a lifestyle that supports and cultivates deeper pleasure and orgasmic bliss. When you take the time to lay the foundation for this kind of life, you change your life experience, and you heal your sexuality in a very profound way. You allow all of life to light you up and turn you on, and you become a sexual alchemist who is able to infuse orgasmic magic into the seemingly mundane, aka, create Heaven on Earth.
Orgasmic Lifestyle Components:
Consume nutritious food, music & content: In order to experience the bliss energies coursing through your body, the energy channels must be clear. In order for them to be clear, you must be feeding yourself nourishing, nutritious foods that support your energy, health and vitality, and you must be incredibly mindful of the content that you consume. Consuming dramatic, violent, fearful, over-sexualized music and content, even in small doses, is detrimental to one’s system, and does not contribute to an internal environment of bliss. This kind of content can become addictive, but it is life-draining, and if you want to be more orgasmic, it’s got to go!
Shift your focus to gratitude, pleasure & joy: When we focus on these virtues, we start to see more and more things that we are grateful for, that bring us pleasure and joy, and we become more magnetic to these kinds of things too. This is a recipe for pure prosperity! The more we can practice focusing on these things, and seeing and attracting more and more of them, the higher our capacity for love and pleasure becomes. The orgasmic frequency is like high frequency pleasure and love fused together, and our systems need to feel safe and comfortable holding those higher levels of it in order to experience it in more moments in life.
Learn to breathe slowly and deeply: We were not taught how to breathe properly. Long, deep breathing will change your life. It changes your physiology, your mindset, your brain chemistry, your nervous system, the list goes on. Knowing how to breathe slowly and deeply allows us to continue to stay calm and relaxed in more extreme moments, like moments of fear or anger, but also in moments of intense pleasure. The body has a tendency to tense up when receiving intense pleasure, but in order to experience the deeper, more profound orgasms we desire, we need to learn to breathe through them and continue relaxing deeper and deeper while we’re receiving pleasure. That’s how we let go into orgasmic bliss! Bonus: when the body is relaxed, healing naturally happens, and we maintain a healthy libido.
Develop sensual full body presence: Learn to notice and actually feel all the sensations you can feel in your body, especially the more subtle ones. This requires us to get quiet and go inward, and a lot of times, de-armor ourselves, and re-sensitize ourselves. Unfortunately, a lot of us have become numbed out for one reason or another, especially in the yoni. The more we learn to be aware of the sensations of the body, and the more we focus on re-awakening the nerves in the yoni, and practice honoring the parts of our body that became numb, the easier it becomes to feel pleasure sensations, especially within the yoni.
Study your feminine anatomy: Knowing your physical anatomy helps you know yourself better, which provides a serious sense of safety when touching and exploring those parts. Knowing what everything looks like, as well as its general function and purpose completely diminishes fear around your body parts. Studying your anatomy also helps you know where to explore physical stimulation, AND helps you spiritually/energetically connect to your femininity and sexuality beyond the bedroom. Key energy points to know: the clitoris, the G-spot, and the cervix.
Form a relationship with your womb and yoni: As a woman, this is the most powerful part of your body. Think of your womb and yoni as conscious, wise, and alive. Get to know them the way you’d get to know a new lover or friend. Look at them, touch them, talk to them (say nice things!), meditate with them, channel messages from them, and listen to them! They will communicate with you. As you go about your day, notice when you feel twinges of pleasure and happiness and fluttering in your womb and yoni. Ask them for help making decisions. Have fun with it!
Learn to embody the feminine archetypes: The feminine archetypes are like universal characters that women embody throughout their lifetimes. We tap into and access their energy and superpowers depending on what we’re doing. The more we can stay connected to all of them, the more whole we feel. There are multiple schools of thought on feminine archetypes. Consider these as a starting point: the maiden, the wild woman, the mother, the wise woman, and the priestess.
Create a pleasure practice & make it a priority: The more we prioritize pleasure, the more pleasurable we feel. If this is important to you, put it on your schedule the same way you’d put an important work meeting on your schedule, the same way you’d make time to go to the gym, the same way you make time to eat and brush your teeth. As we get busy and stressed in life, sex and pleasure tend to be the first things to go. It can also be harder to access the sexual part of ourselves when we are stressed out. You can create incredible balance in your life by creating intentional space for pleasure each day or each week. A woman’s pleasure practice is intimate and unique. It can be as simple as putting on an outfit that makes you feel sexy, lighting candles and dancing for yourself. It can be a practice of touching yourself or doing self-massage. It can be sacred, ceremonious, adventurous, and fun!
Meditate on the orgasmic frequency & feeling, and infuse yourself with it throughout the day: Get quiet and take 3 deep, cleansing breaths. Call to mind the feeling of having an orgasmic experience. Go into whatever comes up, whether it’s like a movie in your mind’s eye, sounds you hear, feelings, inner knowings, etc. Let it play out, and then consciously pay attention to how your body feels. Imagine breathing in this feeling. Remember this feeling, and call this feeling to mind anytime you need. Notice how it shifts your mood and your mindset. If you’ve never had an orgasmic experience, imagine what it might be like. Visualize yourself having an orgasmic experience. Let your mind go wild!
These components are just the tip of the iceberg of building a more orgasmic lifestyle and becoming orgasmic. If this is newer for you, pick 1 component from the list and start exploring it. Play around. Try another component in a week, or a month. Keep a journal and notice what comes up for you, what opens up for you, and what manifests into your life as you play. The best part is that it’s always possible to go deeper in any of these areas, there is always more to learn, and you can’t screw it up.
A huge part of what I’m here to do in this lifetime is to help women experience sexual, spiritual & creative fulfillment. These practices are near and dear to my heart, and are a huge part of how I help women who work with me. If you’re desiring to go deeper in becoming the orgasmic woman that you came here to be, and you desire grounded guidance and luxurious support on your journey, then let’s chat!
Happy exploring!
xo Susan