I've recently started working with essential oils, which work on the cellular level, and consequently, I’ve been having lots of childhood memories resurface. I used to push the majority of my emotions aside because I couldn’t handle them at the time, and so a lot of them have recently been coming to the surface to be processed and cleared. Here’s how I’m handling this process…

I recently realized that what I see and what I recognize outside of myself is a reflection of what exists within myself, too. So therefore if I see pure magnificence, then pure magnificence exists within me. And if I recognize pure brilliance, then pure brilliance exists within me. And what exists within me is what I AM.

Exactly one year ago, my dad died, and my life shifted dramatically - in the best way possible. Relationships that were no longer for my highest good were exiled from my life almost immediately, friendships took different form, my career path changed direction, and most importantly, I decided to start speaking my truth to the world (and not just to my diary). I started by writing a piece to honor my dad’s legacy, which I spoke at his memorial. Writing this piece and speaking it in front of my friends and family turned out to be arguably the most healing, most rewarding, and most powerful experience I’ve had, to date. Now that one year has passed, I am excited to continue honoring my dad’s legacy by sharing with all of you what I wrote last year. May these words serve you in some way, just as they have served father, my family, and me!

I believe that when we are able to look at another’s behavior, whether it irritates us or brings us great joy, and see it as a mirror of our own behavior, this is our most surefire way to ascend to a higher quality version of ourselves. But, of course, this is much easier said than done, and it is most definitely easier to deflect our experiences and judge/blame our partners for how they’re showing up for us. However, if we want to be the very best versions of ourselves that we can possibly be, we must do the work to get there. And it’s actually quite fun, if you let it be!

A few months ago I got called out for something I’ll never forget. Unbeknownst to me, I was upholding a negative, and completely false belief system about men, and I was projecting that belief system onto my world. Consequently, I was attracting in only the kinds of men who fit into the mold I had set.

Up until about 2 years ago, I used to say I had anxiety. I used it as an excuse, and as a way to explain and describe the state of my mind and body. I also used it as an excuse to not take responsibility for my emotions, and to not step into my higher potential. I did this because I was told, from a very young age, that anxiety runs in my family, and that once you have it, you’re stuck with it for the rest of your life. I was wrong.

In my very early 20s, I had an epiphany. I realized that helping people was very important to me. I realized that I wanted to really make a difference in the world, and I wanted to do it through my career. So, I set out to discover a career that involved helping people. In my mind, there was a limited scope of careers that fit the mold of what it meant to "help". I thought I needed to become a healer, body worker, or medical professional of some sort, so I shifted ALL my focus out of the job I was in (at the time, I was working as an analyst at a healthcare consulting firm), and I started searching for a career of service. I spent countless hours searching, and I spent countless hours being resentful of the job I had, and anxious that I was not where I was supposed to be. I WAS WRONG.

I used to put a ton of pressure on myself when entering social situations. I felt like I needed to present myself and my life in a way that seemed interesting and purposeful. I felt like I needed to have pre-meditated conversation topics picked out to fill any potentially awkward silences. I felt like I needed to be “on” and constantly nod my head when listening to others talk, and I felt like I had to absorb everyone else’s energy and emotions whenever I walked into a space. All of these things caused me great, unnecessary worry, and great, unnecessary anxiety (which, by the way, lead to heartburn and indigestion). Consequently, I used to feel exhausted in every social situation I entered into, and I was zero fun to be around. I used to blame this on my inherent introversion, but really I was just making social situations much more complicated than they needed to be. Here’s what I learned to do: see myself as a blessing, and just show up.

There will be times that you may feel unsupported and so alone. I want you to know that you’re actually not. In fact, you are always unconditionally supported. The ground you’re standing on is already supporting you. The bed you’re lying on is already supporting you. The chair you’re sitting in is already supporting you. The body your consciousness is residing in is already supporting you. The more aware you become of the unconditional support system provided to you, the more grateful you’ll feel for it. The more grateful you feel for it, the stronger it gets. The stronger it gets, the more relaxed you become. The more relaxed you become, the easier it gets to continue supporting yourself, and the easier it gets to continue to make bigger, more sophisticated, more rewarding choices.